Wednesday, July 15, 2015
If there is one quote I hate more than anything it would be this one above. That is NOT what love is. The fact is the people we love the most are the ones we hurt the most. We don't mean to, but we all fall short of the glory of God. We all have a sinful nature. If you never say your sorry. Never ask for forgiveness. Well, that will lead to a whole lot of resentment.
I would even go as far as to say if you never say your sorry. Never seek forgiveness. The marriage just can't survive. It would just lead to so much resentment and negativity. It will be this build up that will eventually lead to a blow up that will break the camel's back. A happy marriage truly is a union of two good forgivers.
If you ask for forgiveness it is then the responsibility of the other party to forgive you. But you have to ask for it. Acknowledge what you did wrong. Learn from it and move on. You have to. Or you will fight over the same thing over and over.
I know this from experience. In our first year of marriage I didn't know how to do conflict so I avoided it at all costs. I would apologize for everything, even if it wasn't my fault just to keep the peace. It took a toll on me. Living with someone who never said they were sorry. Never acknowledged when they hurt me.
It came to blows when I just couldn't take it anymore. G didn't even realize it until we talked it out. Read some books. Learned how to communicate. Learned that fighting doesn't make us a "bad" couple. It makes us real. It helps us learn each other more. It helps us express ourselves. Now we don't fight to win or avoid a fight to keep peace. We fight to resolve.
I think the best marriages are rooted in two people coming together, knowing they are flawed and imperfect and quick to apologize and quick to forgive. Love isn't never saying your sorry. Love is being quick to acknowledge when you hurt someone. Love is quick to forgive when they hurt you. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. It could make all the difference.