Nice vs. Kind

G and I got in this discussion last week about being nice versus being kind. Who even knows how these conversation topics come up, but I had been thinking about the quote “Nice girls don’t change the world.” I read that book by Lynne Hybels years ago and it alarmed me. I always thought I was too nice. I don’t want to be nice. I do want to change the world. But I didn’t give it much thought again until recently.

I think one of the main things I’ve learned after turning 30 is that being nice can mean being a push over. Getting walked all over. Being fake. I think the people pleaser in me was nice because I just wanted to make everyone happy. But what about me? Who will advocate for me if I don’t? I started to realize being nice was exhausting. Trying to please everyone was impossible. I didn’t want to be fake. I didn’t want to be walked over. I learned from a wise co-worker that saying the hard stuff or what you really feel is the only way to help someone grow and for yourself to grow.

I don’t want to be nice. I want to be kind. I feel like Jesus was kind. He didn’t let people walk all over him, but he was never rude. He was authentic and he was real without being disrespectful. He genuinely loved people. He was compassionate. I want to be like that. I don’t want people to say I’m nice. I want to be known for being kind. And yeah, that may be harder. Not everyone will love me or even like me. But if it means staying true to who I am and what I stand for it’s worth it.