Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Wedding Wednesday

I came across this article on Pinterest from Today's Letters on the 10 things That Have Made All the Difference in their marriage. I highly recommend you read the article. It is incredible! I agreed 100% with all of it and even felt Garth did 8 out of 10 of these and excelled at them. Not to toot my own horn or anything. But I was proud of us. We are passionate about marriage so we darn well better be doing something right. Not that we are perfect. Because we are far, far from it.

But. But! We do manage conflict well. This comes from experience. Forgiveness is key. Staying calm and expressing your feelings toward the problem, not the person, is equally important. But mostly, it is about realizing when you are wrong and apologizing.

We play together. Walking every night. Watching House Hunters while we dissect the couples relationship. Card games. Scrabble. Date nights out to eat. Inside jokes. Exploring new cities. 

We pray together. Every morning during coffee. This is something we need to get better at. We were very strong at this in our first few years, then slacked off though still praying FOR each other. But we try to do this at least three times a week, though we should make it more consistent. It is such an intimate time to really know Garth's heart and what is really on his mind. I cherish this time.

We celebrate together. We are good at this one. We are each others' biggest fans. Champagne and sushi every Valentine's Day. Out to our favorite restaurant on birthdays. Celebrating job promotions, house anniversaries, etc. We love to celebrate!

We don't do marriage alone. This is a big one. You need people in your life to encourage your relationship. To listen. To offer advise. It is a blessing to have people in our life who offer us unbiased, Godly advise when we need it. We know marriage is hard and we work on it everyday. We read books on it. Ask friends for advise. Listen to sermons on the subject. There are so many valuable resources out there that have been revolutionary to us and our marriage.

We study each other. This one reminds me of the time Barney took a class taught by Ted to learn about Robin. Do you remember that episode of How I Met Your Mother? We are constantly evolving. I love learning more about Garth. It makes me fall more in love with him. I have a bad memory though, so when he mentions something he wants or loves I make a note of it in my phone.

Girl Time / Guy Time. This is important. I remember advice I received from a friend when I was getting married that said "Let your man be a man." I think that is something we don't think about, but we have to let men be men. I was actually irritated when I heard a quote in a magazine that Carrie Underwood called her husband her purse holder. I just think we need to let our men be masculine. Be who they are. I'm not going to make Garth watch my girlie shows and analyze who is fatter. That is what my girlfriends are for! And Garth needs his guy friends to play guitar with, watch soccer and football and drink beer. These relationships are valuable. A little time apart is good and healthy.

The one thing Garth and I do not do, that I would like us to start, is asking these five questions every Sunday night:

1. How did you feel loved this past week?
2. What does your upcoming week look like? 
3. How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead? 
4. How would you best feel pursued in sex / intimacy this week? 
5. How can I pray for you this week? 

I love that. Such great questions to ask each week. 

What about you? Do you agree? What ten things make all the difference in your marriage?

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