Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Wedding Wednesday

This week we discussed the issue of parenting our spouses. Stanley used the analogy of a rope and how we tend to give our spouse some slack if they obey, but if they mess up we will pull the rope tighter. The whole mind set of (for example): "Well, he left work on time and made it to dinner all five nights this week so I will let him go out with his friends on Friday night." In this instance the rope just got loose, but if he messes up that rope is getting tighter! You get the idea...

This is NOT how the marriage relationship was supposed to look like. That type of relationship will suck the intimacy right out of any marriage. From a wife's perspective, I am not Garth's mother. It is not my job to limit his freedom or punish him. It is my job to love him unconditionally, pray for him, and put his needs, desires and dreams before my own. I bet you are thinking, "that is so much easier said than done!" and I would agree with you.

As Gary Thomas said, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Whoa. That is intense and so opposite of what our culture says. I hate to judge especially when I do not know the whole story (and when Garth tells me all reality shows are fake), but I immediately think of Kim Kardashian and her short marriage. In the show Kim basically says she isn't happy anymore and wonders if that is normal. Obviously, we know how their marriage plays out. It is just so sad though. What are these celebrities teaching young kids who look up to them? That if you aren't happy in your marriage you can divorce? That you don't have to work at it? It is frustrating to me, as a happily married woman, to see our culture treat divorce as the first option when the roads get rocky.

I think I got a little bit off topic here, but hopefully I made some sense. Bottom line: We are equal partners with our spouse. We are called to love our spouse unconditionally. God never promised that marriage would be easy but it will be worth it. We all treat our spouse like a child now and again, it is just something we need to be aware of and work on. Thankfully, God's grace is unlimited.

12 comments:

Anne said...

we totally need to be in this group!!

Mrs. Robinson said...

This is such a great reminder. I always enjoy these posts that you do, thanks for doing them. :)

A. Faith Golden said...

I totally wish that my husband and I lived close to where you are because I would LOVE this group! Wow! I just get so much out of what you talk about. Thanks! :)

The Pink Growl said...

This is fabulous advice!

Crystal said...

Excellent topic and so very true. As a newlywed of 2 months, I am doing my best to make sure the hubby and I enjoy our time together but also our time apart as well. I am one of those girls who gets completely caught up in the relationship so making sure I make time for others is so important. I enjoyed reading this!

arkansasrunner said...

I'm guilty of doing that at times - treating my husband as a child. But, I'm getting better at not doing it!

And THANK YOU for saying marriage is hard and needs work! I think a lot of people forget that or think "it's not suppose to be THIS hard" and quit at it! I'm here to tell ya, it's hard and harder than one might think at times! ha!

Robyn said...

SUPERB-LEEEE said !!! I've been over and over and over it ... and I can't find anywhere in the Bible Where God says, "you'll be happy in marriage and it will be EASY" ... however i can find a spot where He says ... you WILL have trials and struggles and pain in marriage.

A. Faith Golden said...

Hey Lindsey! I had a quick question for you. The books that you are guys are working though. Do you just use the book or the book and the dvd/cd? I'm thinking of starting a group at our church. Thanks! :)

Lil' Woman said...

Great post and so good to put in perspective.

renrich10 said...

Just recently found your site and I love the way you express yourself! This post in particular was awesome!

Bronwyn said...

Great post! I totally agree with you about marriage. I've only been married for 3 months, but I can definitely see it being something that God intended to make us holy. I've thought that for a long time.

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