This week in Chapter 3 of iMarriage by Andy Stanley we discussed Ephesians 5:22-25:"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..."
These verses are HEAVY because our culture has such a negative view of submission. I find this humorous because God called wives to be submissive, but called husbands to die for their wives. Personally, I would rather be called to submission! In all seriousness, I think submission gets a bad rap because people do not understand what it means. Stanley defines submission as putting your husband's hopes, dreams and desires before your own.
Now you may be thinking: "WHAT?! My husband does not deserve that!" But do you deserve the unconditional love God has given to you? No, we are not perfect so why would you hold your husband to a standard you cannot uphold? Marriage is not a "you owe me" relationship. We cannot keep score or we will lose the intimacy and unconditional love God designed marriage to be.
Think of it this way - God called us to love our husbands unconditionally and to put their hopes, dreams, and desires before our own as a way of loving Him. Whoa! It takes on a whole new perspective, right? By loving our husbands we are loving God. I'll tell you one thing, when you are constantly putting your husband's needs, desires, and dreams ahead of your own it will transform your marriage. And you know what? Your husband will start doing the same thing for you.
5 comments:
You make some great points! You should link this post to tolovehonorandvacuum.com. I thinks lots of women would like to hear these wonderful thoughts because most women balk at the word submission and don't really know what it looks like.
This reminds me of a Bible Study I am doing right now called "For Women Only." It's really amazing and we are learning about how men think (and the reasons why God wired them to think that way). It's been a lot of fun! I enjoy reading your posts about learning to be a wife. I might want to start doing posts like this about the study I'm in. :)
But you do make some great points. Submission is frowned upon by most people. That's why it's so important to marry God-fearing & loving men. It's not hard to submit to a good man who loves God and puts Him first.
As an old married man, and your dad, I don't disagree with anything you (or Andy Stanley) said, but I think the main point is captured in the verse just prior to where you started in Ephesians 5 ("Submit to one another..."). I don't think there's much (or any) difference between "submit" and "love." Husband and wife are to submit to one another. The Bible almost always describes love as a sincere desire for what's best for another coupled with actions to achieve that desire. That's submission! In the best marriages, no one is "boss," but both consistently try to do what's best for their spouse. Remember what Jesus said about those who boss others around; "whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many
First off I just wanted to say that I love reading your post but I always look forward to your "wedding wednesday" post. You always make such good point and you can tell that you are great christian who really honors, respect and love your husband. You set a great example! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :) I also have read "for women only" and have told so many people about it. It a great book! If you haven't read it I would suggest it. :)
I agree with your dad! He took the words out of my mouth with the previous verse, "Submit to one another..." It's mutual!
~Kathryn
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