"In Jungian circles, shame is often referred to as the swampland of the soul. I'm not suggesting that we wade out into the swamp and set up camp. I've done that and I can tell you that the swampland of the soul is an important place to visit, but you would not want to live there.
What I'm proposing is that we learn how to wade through it. We need to see that standing on the shore and catastrophisizing about what could happen if we talked honestly about our fears is actually more painful than grabbing the hand of a trusted companion and crossing the swamp. And, most important, we need to learn why constantly trying to maintain our footing on the shifting shore as we gaze across to the other side of the swamp - where our worthiness waits for us - is much harder work than trudging across.
'How-to' is a seductive shortcut, and I understand that. Why cross the swamp if you can just bypass it?
But here's the dilemma: Why is 'how-to' so alluring when, truthfully, we already know 'how to' yet we're still standing in the same place longing for more joy, connection, and meaning?"
Brown's words just clicked for me. I realized why I didn't lose the weight last year. It wasn't because I didn't know how. I know how to eat healthy and exercise. It was just that I had to do some soul searching and wade in the swamp last year. I trudged across though. Got past the shame. Peeled back the layers. Now I've done the work and I've crossed the swamp and I'm losing weight. Now I stand in the place of joy. Connection. Meaning. I'm seeing results. I'm happy. I will lose these 45 pounds this year and I'm almost halfway there!
3. Buy new furniture. We are putting this on hold right now until we decide if we are going to move. We hope to make a decision by the end of the year. If we decide to stay we will purchase new furniture. The thought of having to move MORE furniture just does not appeal to me so I rather wait on this until we've made a decision. GAH. I hate big, adult decisions.
4. Unplug before bed. This is something I look forward to every night now. I aim to read two hours before bed or at the very least an hour before bed. I light candles. Grab a blanket. Manny snuggles with me. It's perfection. I've been reading some really great books so this hasn't been hard to do. If I don't have a book to read I just read a magazine. I think I sleep better not looking at my phone before bed. Reading helps wind me down and relax for the evening.
5. Host a Stock the Bar Party. This has not happened. It hasn't been planned. We haven't even been thinking about it actually. This was a good reminder, ha! Truthfully, hosting this party in the summer was to keep us on track for projects on the house. But now that we are 6 months in from not having a vacation I'm starting to wonder if we can just do half the year of the house? And plan a vacation and put money towards that instead of more house projects. Is that bad? So I'm not sure if this will happen. We're itching for a good vacation. Maybe to St. Thomas. Or South Carolina.
How are you doing with your goals this year?