Whole Shebang

This post is about not settling. I remember when I got engaged I received the following advice: “Make sure he is the one. Don’t settle. Planning a wedding is a lot of work and it is expensive so make sure he is the one.” At first that advice took me aback. There was never a doubt in my mind that Garth wasn’t the one for me. I had the butterflies. The giddiness. The excitement. I never wanted to be apart. I adored him. Loved being with him. I knew he was the one God had for me. He was. He still is my whole shebang. I just heard that song “I Will” by Shedaisy and it sparked all of this. Do you remember the song?

How can I keep from singing?

My life goes on in endless song I hear the music ringing

It find an echo in my soul

How can I keep from singing?

I won't be bored

I won't be ignored

I won't be your dirty secret

I won't be your cure-all pill

I won't run to fetch the water

Just to tumble down the hill

I won't be your Friday paycheck

I won't be the prize you flaunt

And I won't be your Martha Stewart, baby

Or your all night restaurant

But I will, I will, I will be your everything

If you make me feel like a woman should

Yeah I will, I will, I will be the whole shebang

You know I will

But, I won't be your crutch to lean on

I won't wear stiletto heels

I won't walk a mile in your shoes

Just so I know how it feels

I won't be your obligation

I won't be your Barbie doll

And I won't be the portrait of perfection

To adorn your wall

But I will, I will, I will be your everything

If you make me feel like a woman should

Yeah I will, I will, I will be the whole shebang

You know I will, but

Hey you know, you know I will all right

I won't be your lifetime girlfriend

I won't be just one of the guys

I won't be your mama's favorite

I refuse to be the last in line

But I will, I will, I will be your everything

If you feel make me feel like a woman should

Yeah, I will, I will, I will be the whole shebang

You know I will

Yeah, I will, I will, I will be your everything

I will, I will be the whole shebang

I will, I will be your everything

I will, I will, I will, I will, I will yeah

As a married woman of five years, I can look back at that advice and truly appreciate it. Not only is a wedding a lot of work, but marriage is work. The best kind of work, but it takes hard work. Sacrifice. Unconditional love. Forgiveness. That means it better be with the love of your life or it is going to be really hard.

I’m thankful I couldn’t settle. I was married at 24, but I still remember my early 20s of dating and not finding a guy that I could even entertain the thought of marriage. Sure, as any woman, I felt I would never find the one. One specific time I started dating a guy from grad school. He was a Godly man. Kind. He treated me like a queen. He had a great job. He was educated. But for some reason the spark just wasn’t there. I ended it a day later.

All that to say, marriage is worth it when the one you are fighting for is the whole shebang. Don’t settle for someone who just wants a prize to flaunt, a crutch to lean on, etc. If they give their everything you will get it back.  I knew Garth was the one the first month of dating. I knew he was the real thing. When you know, you know.  He makes me feel like a woman should and for that I will be his everything. I will be his whole shebang.