I didn’t get on the scale this week. I was getting too
obsessive. Too crazy and emotional about a dang number. I know it doesn’t
define me. I know it doesn’t account for the muscle. Or the looseness of my
jeans. Or the flattening of my stomach. Or any of the physical results I see
despite the number. I know that.
Garth thinks I’m beautiful. Garth thinks I look good. Garth
can notice the muscle in my arms. The ab muscles that are starting to appear. The
thinness of my face. But most importantly, God thinks I’m beautiful.
It’s funny because I never used to think I was insecure
about my weight. I thought, sure I’m a little self-conscious about it. But what
girl isn’t? Then I reached my goal weight and was STILL “self-conscious” about
it. Because you know what? No matter how much weight I lose or how muscular I
get there will always be someone skinnier than me. Someone more muscular than
me. Always. That’s just how life is. We were all created so differently, yet all
beautifully.
I started reading So
Long Insecurity by Beth Moore during my morning devotionals. It has been
really eye opening for me. I didn’t even realize I was so insecure about my
weight. But I am. There was a line in the book that really hit home for me.
Moore talked about how she was insecure and a friend commented, “But you’re so
tiny!” Moore went on to explain that just because she didn’t struggle with
weight, she was insecure about other things. That was a huge moment for me
because I have thought that exact same thing before. I have thought to myself, “She
is so small, she must have it all together.” And saying it out loud it seems funny, but I
used to really think that.
This book is helping me realize my insecurity and realize
OTHER insecurities women struggle with that I do not. It has been so
eye-opening. I highly recommend the book. It is interesting to learn what
others struggle with and the destructive behaviors that stem from insecurity. I’m
over 50 pages in and I am almost to how to beat insecurity and win the battle.
I’m ready for that section! I am ready to give up this specific insecurity once
and for all. To be comfortable and secure in who God made me to be.
6 comments:
You are beautiful!!!!!
I think my mom would really love these books, she struggles with insecurity alot.
Love that post!
That book seems to be so inspirational!
About time lady ! You are beautiful! You always have been as long as I have known you. You were always so tiny in high school and to me you look just the same. Just know that you are healthy, and happy and loved. That is all that matters. Not a number!
This is awesome and absolutely true. I try to focus on being healthy and remembering that when I'm healthy, I'm taking good care of the body God gave me and I'm made beautiful in his sight anyways!
Have you read, "Made to Crave"? That might be a good read too. I have So Long, Insecurity, but I'm waiting to finally finish the Power of a PRaying Wife to start it. Glad to hear it's good!
Sounds like a great read...and honestly the number doesn't tell half
Of the story most times:-)
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