Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Giving Grace

I find it easy to give grace to coworkers. Garth. Friends. Family.

But myself? Impossible. I think thoughts about myself that I would never in a million years ever say to someone else. They are just too mean. For some reason I think it’s okay to say them to myself though. Why do I do this?

Last Thursday a new couple was joining our small group. I get kind of crazy when entertaining. There cannot be a speck of dirt. A homemade meal is a must. I had prepped the night before and had everything for the enchilada soup so all I had to do was put everything in the crock pot Thursday morning. I bought corn bread. I had a variety of pop. I cleaned every inch of the house. Weeded. I was ready!

Until I opened the freezer Thursday morning to grab the frozen chicken I swore up and down we had. It wasn’t there. After two in depth searches of the freezer contents I surrendered. We did not have any frozen chicken afterall.

I didn’t have time to run to the store to grab it before work. I wouldn’t have time to make a meal after work (hence the crock pot idea). Without the main protein I was pretty much up a creek without a paddle.

Garth shrugged it off and said we would just grab a Little Caesars pizza or two for dinner. I was mortified. Serve cheap pizza to new people? What would they think? I can cook. I do cook. I can’t let their first impression of me being pizza from a chain!

Then I stopped the crazy thoughts. I stopped being so hard on myself. It wasn't worth stressing over. There was nothing else I could do. It was what it was. We would grab the pizza on the way home from work and enjoy it on our fine china that was already set. I knew it wouldn't matter in the long haul. The new couple wouldn't be offended by this pizza dinner.

I gave myself grace. 

I didn't stress out or obsess. I served the pizza proudly and we had a great time. Excellent conversation. Laughter. Authentic discussions. 

Sure. It's a silly story. But it was such a teachable moment for me. To let go of the things that don't matter. To be me. To allow mistakes to happen and to just go with the flow. Life isn't perfect. "Perfect is boring" as Jillian Michaels says.

I hope I give myself grace more often and just live life and that I don't get caught up in the details. In the mundane. 

I give grace to everyone else. It's time to give myself grace.


Rebecca Jo said...

Girl, when someone comes to my house, take out is ALL they expect ;)

We are our own worst enemies - for sure!

misslily said...

this post REALLY spoke to me. i know that if i gave myself more grace, it would be easier to give it to others, too.

Lauren said...

love this post! I'm certainly not ashamed to serve cheap pizza, but when I'm expecting to serve a fabulous home-cooked meal--pizza or grilled cheese or whatever, is just hard to swallow! I'm bad about this even with dinners for our little family of 3---eat pb & j for dinner--gasp!

Shell said...

I had to laugh, when we do our annual Christmas party I make all our appetizers but I serve pizza from our local pizza place :) I am glad made the decision to let it go and just go with the flow. As long as you have a warm inviting place for your guests everything will be ok.