At church on Sunday our pastor was talking about the natural tendency for decay. Similar to not watering a plant, if you do not water a relationship it will die.
He made a profound point that the difference between a couple about to be married and a couple on the verge of divorce is in the eyes. A couple engaged to be married look at each other with the best of eyes. They see each other in the best possible way with a bright future. A couple on the verge of divorce looks at each other with the worst of eyes. They don’t see a future together; they only see the past and the flaws.
In order to have healthy and fulfilling families and relationships, we have to create consistent opportunities for creativity, consistency, and change. This is where I got really convicted. Garth and I are definitely lacking in the creativity department. Our pastor mentioned the need for couples to consistently be creative to break away from the mundane. To constantly change things up so things don’t get boring.
This is where we struggle. We fell into a comfortable. We eat out at the same restaurants or get the take-out from our favorite places. We rent a movie every Sunday night. I make the same meals, or same type of meals. Monday is laundry and Love it or List it. Tuesday is cleaning the house and prepping for small group. Wednesday is leftovers and small group night. You get the idea. We have become very predictable.
Our pastor talked about how his wife turned meal time into a fun experience for their family. One night she would have a reverse dinner so dessert was eaten first and salad was the last part of the meal. One night she made green eggs and ham and they read the Dr. Seuss classic. Love that.
So Garth and I have implemented Friday night date night. We will take turns planning a date night. The only rule? It has to be something different that we have never done before. That doesn’t mean it has to be expensive. It just needs to get us out there experiencing new things and enjoying each other. This past Monday we went and saw The Avengers and went out to dinner. It was a fun date night and a great movie! This Friday Garth has planned for us to go out for a drink at a bar to listen to live music.
Do you get in this funk? What do you do to keep your marriage fresh and fun?
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5 comments:
This post is spot on. I think everyone gets in a funk. We did. And just recenlty we started doing things we never did before. Looking up fairs around our area. Events going on. Now, when we go out to eat, we forget the chain restaurants and use Yelp to find local restaurants. It is a bit triky at first, but the times are fun!
Yes! I think everyone goes through this. :) LG and I had been going through it and we have since started exploring new things. LG surprised me with dance lessons!! Who doesn't like a man that can dance! :) It been good for us! It something to look forward too! :)
I think it's normal to get comfortable, so it's good to always come up with new things to do or try. Even simple things, like put a candle on the table on a Tuesday night and maybe play some music in the background while you eat. You'll have a cozy dinner at home and it will feel like a date night.
I think a good balance between that comfortable rut and trying new things is the best way to go. Brian and I have a pretty regular week but try to get out and do new things on the weekends to spice things up :)
Amen amen amen!
I think all couples understand " the funk"
We do weekly date nights and try to travel a lot. Keeps things alive.
Also, it helps for us just to remember what the other, not necessarily "needs" but thrives on. Jordan "needs" lots of words of affirmation and reassurance of his masculinity and importance in my life. I "need" to be pursued, to feel appreciated, and to feel beautiful. I say "need" because truly all we actually need is Jesus, and He is first, but we thrive when we're living within these Godly roles and doing what the other "needs"
I'm not sure if that makes any sense... hahaha
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