Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wedding Wednesday

I'm introverted. I generally do not feel comfortable in group settings. I have never lived alone. I have never ate out alone. I have never been to the movies alone.

I'm very insecure. I feel socially awkward. I feel most comfortable when Garth is beside me. I know my identity is in Christ. I know He created me fearfully and wonderfully. I know all that. And I'm working on it... I'm a work in progress.

This past weekend Garth was in a wedding so I was alone. I attended the wedding alone and I was extremely nervous about it. Surprisingly, I was pretty extroverted and struck up a conversation with someone I recognized from the rehearsal dinner. Then she left and I sat alone. Luckily, a nice couple came and sat next to me and talked to me for a bit. Then they left and I was all alone again. I went in and Garth sat me all by myself. I was slightly uncomfortable about it, but I used my phone to occupy me. Then an old friend came and sat next to me so I did not have to sit through the ceremony alone afterall.

Then I had to drive alone to the reception. On big city highways with five lanes. Eek! I'm not used to that since I live in a rurual area. And I got lost. My phone navigation took me to the wrong place and I had no idea where I was. Garth did not have his phone so I debated calling my parents, but surprisingly I stayed calm and reprogrammed my phone. Long story short, a half hour drive took an hour. I got lost again and cried. Then regained my composure and somehow figured it out. I. Made. It.

The reception came next. I came in all alone and realized my seating was with two much older men. I sat down and did not know what to do. Why am I so awkward?! Then, one of the men started talking to me. Then a girl my age sat down next to me and we got along really well and chatted through dinner. I had made it. Garth was done with bridal party duties and could come hang out with me and we could dance and socialize together.

I don't really know if this has much to do with marraige. I guess I just feel the most comfortable when Garth is around me. He is my "security blanket." I don't want to come across as dependent on Garth or anything. I do things on my own, go out without him, etc. But when I am in a city I don't know with people I don't know I feel very uncomfortable and out of my element.

Is anyone else the same way? You just feel more comfortable when your spouse is around? Less awkward?

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

I am the exact same way. My husband and I were recently in his brother's wedding. I felt SO out of place being with my future sis-n-law and her sisters and close friends. They live out of town and we hardly know her family. I didn't do any of the normal "girls" things that are supposed to happen at weddings. I felt so awkward. You're def not alone...my husband was the best man..so we sat at different tables and everything during the reception. It's not really something I want to relive any time soon....isn't that horrible??

Mrs. Newlywed Giggles said...

I am the same way sometimes. But I just look at it as a learning step to figure out my way through those situations so the next time, it becomes a little more comfortable. :)

The Edberg's said...

I feel your pain! Hopefully more of these experiences will make it easier for us all. Good job pulling it together!

Crystal said...

I am exactly the same way as you. I have a similar situation coming up in July and, although I will know many of the people there, my husband is in the wedding and I already feel alone! It is tough but sounds like you handled it quite well.

jennifer said...

I think you are confusing introverted and extroverted with shy and outgoing. You can be introverted and outgoing, extroverted and shy.

Emily said...

I totally understand this and feel the same way many times with my husband. Maybe it is something that comes with marriage and all the time we spend together as husband and wife? I think its a good thing though!

Anne said...

I know how you feel. I loved having Andrew by my side. Plus it just made life more fun.

Adrienne said...

I am exactly the same! And I'm even an extrovert, but I am painfully.shy. I hate being alone in a crowd of people! I totally understand girl :) I would have cried too btw!