Serve.

Garth and I were all about breaking tradition when we were planning our wedding. This is why we had our pastor read from John 13:1-5; 12-17. It is a passage we are both very compassionate about because we wanted to model it in our own marriage.

"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him...When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. 'Do you understand what I have done for you?' he asked them. 'You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

Wow. I can just imagine the disciples being so distraught and uncomfortable as the King of the Universe washes their stinky feet. But that is what makes it such a powerful illustration, right? And yet, I feel this type of living has been lost - especially in marriage. We live in a culture that glorifies the Burger King motto ("Have it Your Way") and romantic comedies ooze butterflies and "happily ever afters."

Gary Thomas said it best, "What if God didn't design marriage to be 'easier?' What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place?" The whole thesis of Gary Thomas' book Sacred Marriage is "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

As I reflect on my marriage, I have to take a step back and analyze. Am I serving Garth as best I can? Am I pursuing holiness over happiness? Ummm no. Case in point - last night I was so tired after working ten hour days for an event this week, and I was STARVING. This was a horrible combination that led to much crankiness that Garth just did not deserve.

So I write this whole post as a reminder to myself that marriage isn't about me. It is about being able to do God's will better together as a couple than apart. It is about serving each other as Christ served the Church. It is about sacrifice, compromise and unconditional love. It is about glorifying God in all we do which leads to the utlimate "happily ever after."